Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, May 19, 2012


I'm enjoying my first cup of coffee, as I sit here in my living room one hour prior to my final long run, only 10 miles, before next Sunday's marathon. It's taper time. I had a very good week of training. I feel good. I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Tapering is sometimes fun, sometimes stressful. It's nice to decrease mileage and intensity after training hard for so long. But it's also a time full of worries. Have I done enough? Did I do too much? Am I getting enough rest? These and other questions push me to tweak my training at the last minute, a useless proposition. Tapering requires trust in the process and faith in that I've done what I could.

Interestingly, I'm tapering at work right now, too. On Monday I'll begin my second to last week at my current position. And guess what? I'm finding tapering at work to be a nice, yet stressful time. As I tell my patients I'm leaving, I'm receiving more than my fair share of love, respect, and compliments. I have a lot of sweet patients on my caseload right now, and I'll miss them. But out of that love and respect arise more questions in my brain. Am I doing the right thing? Should I be staying where I'm at? What if the new position is more stressful than I can handle? These and other questions leave me wondering.

The reality is I don't know what will happen in either situation. Whether it's an upcoming marathon or an impending employment change, I have no control over the future. In both cases my only job is to prepare as best I can. And that's where I need to keep my focus today. Preparation. If I can stay focused on preparation, I can enjoy more and worry less about these tapers. Everything will work out. I have faith in that.


Andrea said...

Is that a bit under 5K? that would be a challenge for me

etta said...

A 5K is 3.1 miles. A marathon is 26.2 miles.

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

The unknown makes me anxious, too, and I tend to question my decisions. You have the right attitude here--control what you can, let go of the rest.