Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 18 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Gratitude on the Run

During my ten mile run this morning I was feeling grateful. I was feeling grateful for my recent run of feeling well, feeling great even, which made another decrease in my meds possible. I always love it when I can decrease my medication and still feel well. I was feeling grateful for my psychiatrist and thinking I really needed to let her know again how much I appreciate her. I was feeling grateful for the friends I had just run 8 of my 10 miles with, friends I only knew through running and only socialized with around running, but friends I otherwise would not have met. I was feeling grateful for the ability to run and for the opportunity to run marathons in many cities across many states. I may not have the nicest house or the fanciest car, but I've been able to travel and run, and I'm grateful for that. I was feeling grateful for feeling alive, remembering just a few months ago when my whole being, especially my soul, felt nothing. I was walking dead. I marveled at that fact for a bit. This illness continues to amaze me. I may not be the luckiest person, in that I suffer with it, but this morning I felt very lucky. Despite this debilitating illness, right now, today, I feel productive, active and alive. I'm grateful.


Wendy Love said...

I read your blog regularly but haven't commented for awhile. I am happy for you that the new job is going well, so far. I am happy for you that you are feeling well and enjoying the running once again.
I would like to compliment you on reporting the positive and sharing the triumphs. It is an encouragement to us all.
Keep on keeping on, you are doing a great job!

Mzamo Mncibi said...


My name is Mzamo Mncibi, a South African university student who resides in Cape Town.

I also suffer depression and I just wanted to let you know that I love your blog. I love because I can relate to your feelings, or lack thereof. I love your brutal honesty, and I love the fat that you have made yourself vulnerable by exposing yourself in this light.

I am falling off the wagon but I find solace in seeing that there are people out there going through the same thing and are surviving.

Thank you for being my inspiration.

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

A beautiful post. It's so wonderful to feel full of gratitude, and I'm glad you have that.

I took photos this morning at a race for the newspaper I work for. It was a two miler and about 150 people ran in it. Everyone seemed so full of life and excited--I loved being among them. Made me want to run again. I plan to run in a 5K this fall, but I have to get ready for it. You're such an inspiration with your running!

etta said...

You all are so kind, and I am so humbled by your comments. I'm glad you have all found something here, in my little blog, that resonates with you. Thank you for your comments.

Anonymous said...

Etta, your spirit, courage and tenacity are inspiring to me as I too cope with depression. I am very happy to read that you are feeling so well. You consistently do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
It reminds me of what I need to do for myself. I'm recently separated from my job and am trying to stay above water since I do need a job but the work I was doing was chipping away at my soul and I'm relieved that I am free now to pursue my interests. I used to belong to a running group and when we trained that was the highlight of my week. Your post brings back great memories.
Thanks for sharing and giving to your "community"!


etta said...

Thank you, frankie. Perhaps that running group would have you back? Good luck pursuing your interests!

Shane said...

Etta, as always I marvel at your determination. Thank you for sharing it with us all. I've recently suffered a set back with my depression and I keep hearing God tell me to run. I've run in the past and I know I'll get my legs back in gear... But the ramp up to that place is so overwhelming! Ugh... It's a small, simple and profound metaphor of our depression cycle. Thanks for your inspiration.

jim said...

They say that expressing gratitude for the things you have in life is one of the best ways to combat depression. I know it has helped me if I can find something to be grateful for, no matter how small, each day. You are an inspiration. Thanks

Kitty said...

You are amazing! Thank you for reminding me that it can and does get better, and that there are things to look forward to and be grateful for.

Maria Elena @ Adios To Fatty said...

This is a great post! I am a writer, and for years, I have written about my struggles with depression. I always find my day to go better when I exercise. Thank you for sharing your story.

Lorii Abela said...

Hi Etta,
Thank your for reminding us to be always grateful of what we have. You are truly and inspiration.