Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, June 29, 2012


It's the end of another week in my life. I feel like I've missed most of it. This pnemonia has kept me down. I've spent most of my free time, and I've had a lot of that, lying low or sleeping. I haven't run in over a week. I haven't done anything except walk Puck. I tried a bit longer walk yesterday, about 2 miles, and it totally wiped me out! That was disappointing. I had hoped to get my running shoes on tomorrow, but now I'm not so sure.

That being said, I am feeling a little better. I still have a very nasty cough, but no fever or joint aches (except after my long walk). Today was my last day on antibiotics, and they did make a difference. I guess I might need to be a bit more patient about getting back on the road. I'm not too good at patient.

This week has been a little more challenging for my mood. As I said before, I'm not used to being physically down for so long. I discussed feeling a little low with my doctor yesterday. We decided I'll likely feel mentally better once my physical self heals. Again, patience...

Without exercise, I've had extra time in my life to focus on work. Things are improving there. I'm getting into the swing of things. I know what forms are in which drawers now. I figured out how to put a patient on my schedule. And today I mastered faxing orders to a doctor. Whoo, hoo! I'm still struggling to control my fear every time I get a referral for a new outpatient, but I figure that's got to improve eventually. Patience is king.

I'm laughing. Here I am writing about patience while internally I'm screaming, "Hurry up!" Oh well, I never claimed I was perfect. I'll keep working at it.


Erica said...

I know how you feel about struggling with patience! My mood seems to have dipped down a bit this week as well, along with my energy level. Time, patience, and sticking to good habits are key...but it's hard to remember that when you just want to feel better now! Hope you're back on your feet soon :)

Anonymous said...

So sorry you are dealing with sickness and having to rest. That always makes me struggle with my mood dips. I so admire you for taking on a new job and changing a situation you wanted out of - even though it is difficult to start over and learn new things. That is stressful for someone without a mood disorder! As always, you keeping moving forward even when you have to stop for bit because of sickness, injury, etc. Always inspired!

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

I'm glad you're starting to feel better. Patience is not one of my strengths either. But it sounds like you are doing well with it. Glad the job is becoming more familiar. You just have to get through this illness!

Tim said...

Everything that we go through in life is a lesson learned. The most imperative thing is to try to always see a positive thing out of everything. I am glad your fever has improved now. Do not worry, everything will be just fine. I enjoyed this article!

Unknown said...

I love the comment above that everything we go through in life is a lesson learned..I need to remember that so that I can tell myself I can turn a negative into a positive. I just found your blog. I have OCD and have suffered with severe depression which I overcame with the help of my dog and exercise. Patience is something I aspire too and so worthy of seeking.