Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Sickly and thinking

I seem to have come down with something post marathon. Sunday evening, one day after the race, my throat began getting sore. It's only gotten worse, though not terrible, since then. It feels like a lingering, low-grade cold or flu. I'm glad it's not worse than it is, but it's still no fun. I haven't done a lick of exercise since the marathon, which is actually okay. I needed a break. I have made it to work both days this week, but I spent my off day yesterday down and out.

I'm hoping to wake up tomorrow feeling better. My parents are in town for one week, and I'd really like to spend some quality time with them. Hmmm...that's the second thing I've written that I never would have written prior to my growth and change, which has been a direct result of sobriety and surviving this illness. Prior to this illness and prior to getting sober, I would have stayed home from work for a stubbed toe! Likewise, I doubt I ever would have expressed an interest in spending "quality time" with my parents. But I've grown up over the last 12 years.

Dealing with depression has changed my life. I've lost a lot. This illness is relentless in its consumption. It's been no picnic. My life looks nothing like it used to. Yet, I am a better person because of it. It sounds so cliche, but in my case it actually is true. I am a kinder, gentler, more forgiving, more responsible, grateful soul. Go figure. Something positive has come out of the darkness. I'm grateful for that.

2 comments:

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

I agree that hardships and burdens--depression, OCD, other mental illness, substance addiction--can make us better and stronger people if we allow it. It sounds like you allowed it, and that's wonderful. I think I'm a more empathetic person because of my mental illnesses because I know what it's like to be in the bottom, and I don't want other people feeling like that.

I hope you feel better soon!

Lauren Levy said...

Challenges bring out strengths, abilities, and characteristics we never knew we even had. Keep up the great work on your soul!

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