Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, July 6, 2012

100 degrees

It's hot! We've had back to back 100 degree days, in Minnesota(!), and the weatherman is predicting a third day in a row tomorrow. That's bad news for me. I'm scheduled to run 17 miles tomorrow. I've gotten up before sunrise the past 3 days to bike and run. Regardless, I still had to cut my run a bit short yesterday morning, as I eventually wilted in the sauna-like conditions. The air is dangerously thick and hot. It's really quite unbelievable to this northern girl.

So, tomorrow looks like another early morning. I don't know that I'll actually run 17 miles. I'm toying with the idea of biking and running, as biking seems more tolerable in the heat. I'm definitely leaving my options open. We'll see what the morning brings.

I saw my doctor yesterday. Unfortunately, I had to report that my thinking has been a bit off this week. Sometimes, when I'm not doing well, I have really horrible thoughts. Often they involve Puck being maimed and/or dying in some horrendous way. Sometimes, the thoughts are more about me. They are almost always violent and scary. And they've been cropping up here and there lately. Of course, my doctor wanted to increase one of my meds, but that particular med gives me a hand tremor, so I politely refused. She accepted that. I want to wait and see if the thoughts will subside on their own, as they occasionally do. I agreed to increase the med if they don't. I'm going to give it another week.

Hopefully, this is just a minor uptick in one of my symptoms. It's annoying, but I don't want to make too much (or too little) of it. Hopefully, it is not a sign of an impending dip in my mood. I'm going to have faith that it isn't. I'll keep on keeping on. Hopefully, sticking to my healthy routine will be enough to stop the thoughts in their tracks. Maybe I'll sweat them out! I've got the perfect weather in which to accomplish that!


Shane said...

This weather has been messing up my training too! It's awful!!! But im sure your thoughts will subside when training resumes. I'm the same way with my meds. I hate going for an increase... Only if completely necessary. Thanks for your open, honest format. Appreciate it.

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

It has been hot like that here in Virginia, too. Makes it hard to breathe when it's so humid!

I hope the symptoms go away on their own. You are very self-aware, and that will help stop any such symptoms in their tracks.

Don't get too hot! :-)

On The Way said...

Total opposite weather here in the UK, Rain rain and more rain, floods all over. Would love a little bit of that heat but maybe not quite to the extent you guys are suffering with. What's happened to summer hey?!
Hope that this little dip in your thinking reverses itself and am sure that you're doing all the right things with the healthy routine, staying positive etc.
Really admire the way you keep on keeping on, you really are brilliant!
Take care