Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Monday, August 13, 2012

A long day and a long run

Hi there! I had a great run on Saturday, a nice day at work and a swim on Sunday, and I was overwhelmed at work today. So things are about average around here. I'm now relaxing in my chair, in front of a baseball game, trying to figure out what to write before heading off to bed.

I guess since I'm still decompressing, I'll write about my 9.5 hour work day today. My brain shuts off well before the 9 hour mark, so just the extended length of my day made today difficult. But really taxing to my brain was the two and a half hour inservice we had in the middle of the day.

The inservice was meant to be a review of some treatment modalities, but much of the information was new to me. I was totally overwhelmed! There was too much information presented for the time allotted. Then we ran overtime, and I couldn't pay attention because I was too worried about how far behind schedule this inservice was putting me. It was very stressful.

Unfortunately, I don't feel like I can apply what was presented today, which is what's expected. I was overwhelmed by the material. I felt like I needed more time and instruction to utilize the information correctly. And I ended up way behind schedule, which forced me to stay at work for an extra hour and a half. The stress created by the inservice really hindered my ability to learn. I'm hoping to look through the information on my own tomorrow when I'm not feeling so stressed. I'm glad I have tomorrow off.

Fortunately, I did have a good weekend. My 18-miler Saturday morning could not have gone much better. I started before the sunrise. The weather was amazing! And I felt good the whole way. I finished with gas in the tank. I think I easily could have run several more miles. It's not often that I have long runs like that, so I enjoyed every moment. I have a 20-miler scheduled for this Saturday. I hope it goes just as well.

I'm so grateful God has given me the gift of running. My run got my weekend off to a great start, and the endorphins carried me through the rest of Saturday and Sunday. Thanks, God. What gifts has God given you? Think about it. Have a nice week, everyone!


Tina Fariss Barbour said...

So glad you have the gift of running! The gift I think of in relation to getting through life is being able to write. Writing gets me through a lot of tough times.

I'm sorry you had such a stressful day at work. I hate when I get overwhelmed like that. Hope the day off will help!

Anonymous said...

Well I tried reaching out to my network during my last collapse. My brother, sister, two friends, not one person called me back. I had never felt so isolated. After writing my letters and such, I spent a whole afternoon looking for tall buildings from which to jump. Obviously I didn't find one.
And then reading your post about gifts made me realize that if I could get through that, I am stronger than I thought. I used to love running too, my knees won't let me anymore. But I still hit the gym, and I dance. When I dance salsa I literally have a flow state. And that is a gift.
Thanks for reminding everyone to stay grateful.

mich said...

Writing and moving - those are the two things that help save me. I write every day, and I am doing a lot of walking along with the gym, running and yoga. Still, I wish I was more disciplined in each of these things, but they will get better with time. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Hey cool blog thats great running is helping you so much.I hope anonymous above feels better and remember the bad times and episodes as I call them pass but after each one youll have more ammunition to attack the next one as for me I learn each time-I find running great too-i feel really stronger right now than i have in ages Im back into it after a period off x

Anonymous said...

HI there, just found your blog. I'm a runner and I think I might have a mild/medium depression. I finally went to the doctor yesterday and got my thyroid level tested. I was so hoping this would be the cause, I would take some pills and my happy self is back. Well today I heard the results are normal. The doctor wants to see me next week again. Any advice you have for somebody like me? Thanks!

etta said...

@ dreambigrunner: Get treated. Don't wait for things to progressively worsen. Be grateful your depression is not worse, and get treated. Oh, and by all means, keep running!

Christine said...

The follow up meeting with my dr was not very successful, was told medically everything is fine and I should come back if my headache/fatigue gets worse.She asked me if I could be depressed and I said, maybe. And that's it. No advice or anything. What type of treatment do you recommend?

etta said...

@ Christine: My only recommendation at this point is to see a psychiatrist. Tell him or her you are concerned you may have depression and go from there.