Depression Marathon Blog

My photo
Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Monday, October 15, 2012

My time of year

This is my time of year. Warm days followed by crisp nights, as was the case today, are my kind of days. I love the musty smell of leaves in the air. I love the sound of dry leaves crunching under foot, especially when I'm walking with Puck, and we're kicking up the fall debris together. We just came in from our walk, in fact. The sun set before we turned for home, and we enjoyed Fall's heightened sounds and smells as dusk settled in. It was a lovely end to a very nice day.

I'm still feeling well. I think I usually feel well at this time of year. I don't recall any depression relapses of any significance which have occurred in the Fall. Winter and Spring seem to be more precarious. It's nice to feel good. It's nice to enjoy life.

I'm getting back into my training. I ran 16 miles in the rain Saturday morning, and tomorrow I'm back on the track for eight, 1/2 mile repeats at seven minute pace. Based on how tired my legs were during Saturday's long run, I think I'm in for a pretty tough workout tomorrow morning. But at the same time, I'm looking forward to getting back on the track. What can I say? I like to push myself, and I always feel great after a hard speed workout!

Speaking of feeling great, this weekend brings big news. My friend, D, is coming to visit. It will be our first weekend together since we stopped dating in January. Well, we didn't really stop dating. He disappeared when I was in the hospital getting treated for depression. Anyway, this is a big step in our relationship. I'm nervous and excited.

D still hasn't assured me he won't disappear again if I have another relapse. Depression is so foreign to him. It really scares him. But I think we're moving in the right direction. We've certainly spent a fair amount of time discussing the issue, which I really appreciate. If he's willing to be educated, I'm willing to do the teaching. The fact is I care about him. I'm hoping we can develop a strong relationship, but even if that doesn't happen, none of this time together will be wasted. I'm enjoying the experience. One day at a time, my friends. One day at a time.


Tina Fariss Barbour said...

I love your description of fall. I love this time of year, too.

I hope the weekend goes well--have fun! :-)

Mohican said...

Yes! A cool fall morning is better than a cup of coffee. Such a shame that the most beautiful season is the shortest.
D's reaction reminds us that there are so many people out there who don't comprehend the sometimes agonizing struggles people encounter every day. Not just depression but all sorts of mental, physical and financial challenges.

Anonymous said...

Hello, i have several depression too. I lived in Belém, Amazonia, Brazil. I don't know if you know CID. In this book, i'm classified like "CID 10 F33.2". And i have bipolar disorder. My name is Marcia Okamura and i have 25 years. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I'm excited for you! Sound great to have a weekend visitor! Do you think it would help him to meet with your therapist? Maybe that helps to answer his questions and concerns.

etta said...

Yes, dreambigrunner, my psychiatrist has offered to meet with us, but the trick--when you live 4 hours apart--is finding a time that works. Right now, it doesn't look like it will happen until December.

shannon said...

I love this time of year too, I'm in the UK and it's pretty bitter cold but it's kind of nice knowing that there might be a little snow soon, very pretty time of year :)