Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

They say...

They say God won't give you more than you can handle. I often reflect on this statement when going through trying times. Sometimes it helps. Today was not one of those times.

After what was supposed to be a routine furnace inspection, the serviceman showed me a hole in my heat exchanger. He then condemned my furnace. That means he disabled it. Apparently the hole will allow Carbon Monoxide to be released into my home. He also told me my Carbon Monoxide detectors were expired, and they may not have alerted me to the threat. Who knew Carbon Monoxide detectors expired? It was quite a handful of information to swallow!

The end result of all this information was that I needed a new furnace! I tried to stay composed, as this came as quite a shock, and finances were already thin. My parents just happened to be on their way over, as we had planned to go out to lunch. By the time they arrived, 5 minutes later, I was panicking and crying. I was already scrambling to put together the funds for the upcoming New York Marathon trip. Where, I thought, was this money going to come from?

I tried to compose myself. I said the Serenity Prayer a couple of times in a row. My step-father tried to help by making some jokes, but he quickly followed that up with a serious, "Don't worry about it." I'm glad he was composed, because my mom started crying as soon she saw me crying, so she wasn't much help. Eventually, we all settled in at the kitchen table and talked.

My parents decided they could help me out. We got a couple of estimates and made a decision. I'm getting a new furnace on Thursday. Fortunately, it's rather warm right now, so I should be okay until then. More significantly, I don't know what I would have done if my parents hadn't been able to offer assistance. I wasn't expecting their help (hence the panic), and I will absolutely pay them back, whether they expect it or not. I'm so grateful for their willingness and generosity.

Things are tough right now. I'm trying to work more hours, but all three of my employers are currently slow and not in need of extra help. Go figure. They say things always work out as they should. I have to have faith that is so. God, I hope that it is so!


My Health Jotter said...

Anything going wrong with the heating is just so overwhelming isn't it!

Anonymous said...

It' s ok to ask for help!! You might feel you failed because YOU didn't by it, but we are not superman and can not everything by ourself. Don't worry, everything will be fine!!

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

That must have been such a shock, but I'm glad the service person found the hole. That wasn't safe. I'm glad your parents can help you out. I'll be thinking of you and hoping that things turn around soon!

Stationary Runner said...

I, too, think it is great that you asked for/accepted help. Good for you.

I hear new furnaces are really really expensive, and I'm sorry yours needs to be replaced. I am glad, however, that this person identified this potentially dangerous problem.

jim said...

I know it is tough for you right now Etta. But you got phenomenally lucky. CO2 can kill you quickly and quietly. I am glad this did not happen when the weather was colder and you were using the furnace.