Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Settling in

I'm still settling back into life after my chaotic, stressful trip to New York. My mood did take a hit. The last couple of days have been a little rough, but I think things are beginning to smooth out. I'm feeling better today.

I worked hard to avoid sliding any further into the darkness. I ran 7+ miles fast and hard both Friday and Saturday. I don't usually run two days in a row, but it was necessary to battle the impending doom. Both runs helped boost my mood. I also attended a couple of AA meetings and surrounded myself with positive people even though I didn't feel like it. The meetings helped get me out of myself for a little while. I needed that.

I spent most of today alone. The day started slow, and I actually went back to bed an hour after getting up. But then I went to the gym to lift some weights. Later, while watching football, I opened my accumulated mail and paid some bills. Puck and I went for a chilly walk. I took care of the trash pick-up, made my lunch for tomorrow, and already set out my clothes. These were all little things, but I was focused on taking little steps today. I just wanted to keep moving forward, and I think that helped.

I'm anxious about returning to work while not feeling in tip-top shape. I know I'll likely feel better once I'm there. I actually begin a new work schedule this week, which is another unknown entity creating some anxiety. I'll now be splitting my time between two buildings, and I added 1/2 day, Tuesday afternoons, to my schedule. Those extra hours will certainly help me out. We'll see how I handle working on what's typically been a day off. One thing is for sure, I'm anxious about a lot tonight.

I'm going to say a few prayers to relieve me of my fears and anxiety. After all, I'm not doing myself any good sitting here worrying. Tomorrow will come soon enough, and then I can face my fears rather than write about them. I think getting back into the full swing of my routine will help settle me.


Tina Fariss Barbour said...

I'm glad you're beginning to feel better. You've been taking positive steps. You're right--the little steps take us forward too. Hope tomorrow is a good day!

AdHoc said...

Good to hear that you are doing better. Once again your blog is so inspiring I love your get up and go attitude. Am trying to get there myself :)

Anonymous said...

Good luck back at work and with your new schedule. So sorry the trip was disappointing and stressful. Hope your mood improves with routine. As usual, you keep taking the next step and moving forward. Hope that helps lessen your anxiety this week. I hate the nagging worries!

Kristina said...
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