Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Monday, December 31, 2012

Goodbye 2012

If my 2012 retrospective looked at only the first month and the last month of the year, one might conclude I had a pretty crappy year. In January I was hospitalized for 3 weeks with unrelenting, debilitating depression, which was only relieved after a full series of ECT treatments. That was challenging. In December I lost my soul mate, my loyal companion for the past 13 years, my dog, Puck. And since then I've been struggling to regain my unaccompanied footing. It's been hard. Yes, the opening and closing months of 2012 could have been better.

Despite those early and late traumas, however, 2012 wasn't all bad. In between I spent many wonderful hours with family, friends and Puck. Puck and I slowly transitioned from running together to daily walks together, time which I initially found boring but gradually learned to cherish. It was our special time. My mood remained relatively stable, with the exception of one late summer dip, and I was even able to decrease one med and totally eliminate another from my regimen. I ran injury free for the entire year, which began just 3 months after significant knee surgery. And I completed five marathons, including Boston, for the second consecutive year. Over the course of 2012, I managed to stay sober for one more year, find a new job which I enjoy, and resume a relationship with a special man. I said, 2012 wasn't all that bad.

Entering 2013 I have high hopes that my mood will remain stable, my relationship will expand and grow, my running will be injury free, satisfying and joyful, my work will be prosperous and fulfilling, and my relationships with friends and family will be simple and loving. I'm aiming high in 2013.

What are your hopes for the new year? Let me be the first to propose a toast to good mental health for all of us. Be safe. Be happy. Be resilient. Happy New Year, my friends.


Tina Fariss Barbour said...

You accomplished so much in 2012! Be proud of all of that. I'm sorry for the way the year began and ended for you, but you worked through and are working through that. That's all you can do. Blessings to you in 2013, and may you enjoy many wonderful, peaceful times!

etta said...

Thank you, Tina, for being such a loyal reader and commenter! I always look forward to what you have to say. Peace to you in 2013!

Alison said...

Those sound like excellent goals. I found your blog yesterday and wish you all the best...I've had a bit of a relapse the past couple of weeks, but I'm better and have hopes that I'll get past the depression and anxiety.
P.S. I'm so sorry about the loss of your dog.

Anonymous said...

I have a feeling 2013 will be a good year! I have high hopes! I recently got engaged and hope I won't turn into a bridezilla. Running related I'm aiming high and hoping to finish 13 half marathons! Happy New Year!!

etta said...

Congratulations, dreambigrunner!! And I love your goal of running 13 half marathons! That's awesome! Good luck!

Zrinka said...

I wish you all the best Etta! I've been reading your posts for some time :). They have been inspiring.