Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Attending to business

Did I mention I'm going to Mexico this Thursday? D is graciously taking me to Mexico for 5 days. We fly in and out of Milwaukee, so I'll leave Wednesday right after work in order to be prepared for our early morning flight on Thursday. We are staying at an all-inclusive, adults only resort right on the ocean in southern Mexico. This place is so fancy! It may be out of my league. I tend to be more of a cabin-in-the-woods kind of gal. Nonetheless, I have to admit I am looking forward to being pampered for a few days. The warm sun will feel really nice in the middle of our long winter. I can't wait.

I've been hustling and bustling around here lately. Work has been a bit busier, which is good. Outside of my primary job, I've been busy with meetings, track club responsibilities, running, working at my second job, preparing for vacation, and lastly, and most significantly, I've been going through the adoption process.

I spotted a rescued black lab puppy online, and he spoke to me. The process of adopting him is quite thorough, and in order to get him, I have to complete everything by the time I leave for Mexico, even though he will stay with his foster family until I return.

I had no plans to adopt another dog so soon after Puck's death. After all, it's only been a bit over 3 weeks since he died. I knew I'd probably eventually get another dog, but I really had no intent yet. While perusing an online adoption site, Virgil's adorable little face popped up. He was rescued from a "kill shelter" (an oxymoron if I've ever heard one!) in the southern US. He's somewhere between 3 and 4 months old. He's a lab mixed with some other type of dog, but nobody is sure exactly what type yet.

Unfortunately, he's in a foster home 2 hours from my home, and one of the pre-adoption criteria was that I meet Virgil prior to adopting him. So, after working 7 hours today, I went for a quick run, and then made the 4 hour round trip. I spent about 30 minutes with the little guy. Despite his rough start to life, he's a happy, energetic, playful puppy. He's already kennel trained and is mostly potty trained as well. He knows how to sit and to come when he's called. He was pretty sweet.

Tomorrow someone from the rescue organization is coming to my house to make sure I will be an appropriate home for Virgil. After that I have to complete some more paperwork and, of course, pay for him. As I mentioned, his foster family is happy to continue housing him while I'm in Mexico, and I will go pick him up when I get back.

I confess I've been feeling a little guilty as this adoption process has progressed. I've been more sad about Puck's death, too. I'm not sure what's going on. I think the possibility of getting a new dog brings the sadness surrounding Puck's death to the surface. I even cried myself to sleep last night!

I also wonder if I'm not honoring Puck by getting another pup so soon. I'm worrying that loving a new dog will somehow diminish the love I had for Puck. I know it's silly, but I'm having the worry thoughts, nonetheless. I'm praying for no more worry thoughts. I'm praying that God will see to it that both Virgil and I make this transition gracefully. As usual, your thoughts, and/or prayers are always appreciated.


ruby-tuesday said...

Try not to worry about not honouring Puck. You are not replacing him.
I would say go for it, if the puppy touched you that much it was meant to be.

My dogs are rescue dogs too
Such an amazing thing to be able to give a dog a second chance at life

Enjoy Mexico
Relax and try to have fun

Take care x

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

Your conflicting feelings about adopting another dog are normal. I think you'd have them no matter how much time had gone by since Puck died. The love for Puck that you will always have cannot be diminished by anything, even loving another dog.

I hope the adoption process goes smoothly. And I hope you enjoy your well-deserved time in the sun!

midnight rainbow said...

When I lost my heart cat, I got a kitten a couple of weeks after burying him and it was like seeing seeing the glory of life of this little kitten grow and play and yet there was sadness and grief from missing my former cat. Whether you wait or not that process is going to happen when you get another dog, it's just part of it. I've went through the guilt as well having that feeling of dishonor. It you are ready you will know and Puck will be right there by your side.

You will be honoring Puck, just by sharing your love with another dog and the good life you gave him.

Enjoy Mexico! Enjoy the sun!

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel about getting a new dog so soon. After my 1st dog died I thought I could never have another dog, because that would be kind of cheating. Years later I did adopt another dog and it is totally different. Our heart is endless and starting to love another dog doesn't mean we love the first dog less. You will make another dog's life so much better and I'm sure Puck will be very happy!!!!