Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Squeak, Squeak, Cough, Cough

As I sit here, my new puppy, Jet, is racing around in circles, attacking his toys and batting his balls around the room. He is adorable, as he squeaks his toys and bounces the balls off the walls! He is very good at rambunctiously humoring himself. Sometimes he plays for 5-10 minutes non-stop. I actually videotaped him the other night. If I can figure it out, I'll post it here.

As you might expect, I've been very busy since picking up Jet last Saturday. I'm not getting anything done around my house! I'm potty training Jet, and he's doing very well, but it means he has to be under my watchful eye at all times. It's a bit exhausting. 

Unfortunately, I've come down with a nasty respiratory illness over the past couple days, which only makes things more difficult. Today, all I wanted to do was come home and sleep after work. My muscles were aching. My chest was full. My head was stuffy. But Jet had been in his kennel all day, and I needed to tire him out before I could put him back in the kennel in order to nap. I did, and we both got a nap in later.

I've had a little bit of difficulty readjusting to life since getting back from Mexico. Not only am I missing naps and getting little done around my house, my mood has taken a hit. I'm having an awful time motivating myself to do anything. Exercise, cooking, cleaning, and socializing have all taken a back seat, and it's not all Jet's fault. I've made it to work, but it's been tough to put my full energy into it. I'm having trouble caring, not about my patients, but about doing anything worthwhile or healthy.

That being said, I am hanging in there. Jet is forcing me to do that. If he wasn't in the house right now, I'd likely be sleeping a whole lot more! My mood is lower than I'd like. My motivation is nil. But I'm hanging in there. I know this is temporary. It feels like a bump in the road. It's not gotten too big yet. I'm trying to ride it out and keep my worries to a minimum. That's about all I can motivate to do for now.


introverted person said...

I hope you get over that nasty cold soon. Remember, best to get lots of rest. Don't try running while sick, just makes it worse!

Anonymous said...

Dear etta,

I just wanted to let you know, you have a new follower from Germany now. ;) I have been suffering myself from depression for almost 13 years now and really can recognize myself in what you are writing.

Keep up the fight, we will come out if this mess as a better person!

All the best,

Bengal said...

I just was wondering will your puppy be let out of the Kennel during day once he's older and trained? I have never owned a dog so please excuse my ignorance coming across if so.
Cute puppy and hope you're feeling better.

Anonymous said...

Jet is so adorable! Puppies are exhausting - and being sick makes for double whammy. Working, taking care of him and trying to rest sound like top priorities. The house can wait. :) Get well and hopefully, some energy will follow. Take care.

etta said...

@ Bengal: Yes, Jet will likely be able to stay out of the kennel during the day, just as Puck did. But that will be a long time from now, I think. He loves his kennel. It is HIS space, and he chooses to go in it for naps or if he's afraid.

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

That's great that Jet likes his kennel. That makes it easier for you right now.

You have a lot on your plate, with working, taking care of Jet, and being sick. I hope your cold clears up quickly and you will get some of your energy and motivation back. Just do what is necessary while you recuperate!

Mopsa said...

It's great that Jet has now a new home - with you :) He's so lovely! One of the first things I'll do when I finally have my own place is to get a puppy.

marty Roddy said...

I am looking for a dog or maybe find a friend that has a rambunctious pup to run with(since i am in an apt)

thanks for the blog as i also use exercise for my head as well as for my gut/butt...

Not much on depression but should have posted abunch last month or so.