Depression Marathon Blog

My photo
Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, October 25, 2013

Back Inside Again

I've got bad news to report. I'm back in the hospital. My mom and a friend ganged up on me and brought me back in a couple days ago. Unfortunately, my mood has not responded yet to the ECT treatments. I had my tenth treatment session today. Usually I would have noticed a significant difference by now, but my mood is being particularly obstinant this time around. I'm still feeling quite low. I'm hoping for some relief within the next few days, although I'm not thrilled about spending the weekend here. Things tend to get quite boring here over the weekends. The other issue I'm coming to terms with is how unprepared I am to run a marathon. The New York City Marathon is just a few weeks away, and I am not in marathon-running shape. I've already paid my entry fee, reserved my plane ticket, and secured my hotel room. If I decide not to go, that will be a lot of money down the toilet, but I don't think I would have any fun going if I'm not in shape to run. I've got a lot more thinking to do yet, but right now I'm leaning toward staying home. That's all I have to report this evening. I'm still accepting prayers for relief from my low mood. Any good thoughts sent my way will be gladly accepted.


Claude said...

Hi Etta,

I'm thinking of you a lot lately and I sincerely hope that you will feel better very soon.

Although we're not family nor friends directly, knowing that you are struggling makes me sad.

But like a friend, it's ok to read about the good AND the not-so-good. Just know that there are people who care, like me.

Prayers to you, my friend.


Jean Grey said...

I hope your mood improves soon. And I hope you survive a boring weekend in the hospital.

Steffen said...

I wish you some relief, even though the ECT doesn't seem to do its job yet. Whatever you have planned for the marathon, just listen to your heart whether you should go through with it or not - the money is gone anyway, no matter what you do!

TriTrish said...

Sorry to hear you're still feeling down. You can beat this. It is the fight for your life.

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

You have been in my prayers and my thoughts, Etta, and I'm hoping that you will soon be feeling better. Remember that you will get through this.

Anonymous said...

Hi Etta,

I've been reading your blog for several months now; I'm so sorry that depression has moved back in.
I've heard they having luck with treatment using magnets - maybe you could ask your doc about it.
I really appreciate your honesty and willingness to blog through such a tough time.
Keeping you in prayers!

cehope said...

Praying for you.

Know that your blog and words have helped so many..

Including myself, 30 years of depression, and ECT.

It certainly can be a battle, wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.

We will continue to pray for better days ahead.

Blessings and Light


Anonymous said...

I am thinking of you and sending positive thoughts your way. You will get through this, and lots of people care about you and are pulling for you.


Kelly said...

Still praying for you and sending you good thoughts and strength. Keep it up, you can do it.

Irene said...

You can do this. Your beautiful dog will see you soon.

Diana said...

My sentiments to what Claude said above, as I probably can't say it any better. My thoughts have and will be with you even though our only real connection is depression and this blog. Please know people care and are pulling for you. You can beat this!!!!