Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


I'm still in the hospital. I had my fifth ECT treatment today. I'm planning to have one more treatment on Friday and then head home. My parents are now in town, on their way south for the winter, so I'd like to spend some time with them. Right now they are at my house taking care of Jet for me.

I think my mood has improved slightly, not as much as I'd like, but I think it is slightly better. I worry that ECT will eventually lose its effectiveness. I mean how many times can you go to the well? I have nothing on which to base that fear. It's just fear, and I hope I am wrong. Perhaps I should instead focus on the fact that it appears to be working once again. I'm grateful for that.

I don't have much more to report. Not much happens in the hospital. I should be continuing my training for New York City, which is now 3 weeks away, but I've yet to get on one of the available treadmills. I'll try to make up for it by running long this weekend. I'm just going to run New York for the experience, anyway. It won't be about racing on that day.

That's all I've got. I so appreciate all of the comments I've received from you, my readers, on my last few posts. Thank you so much. Know that your comments do make a difference. I am one lucky woman. Here's hoping things continue to move forward and upward.


Jean Grey said...

You are an amazing woman, you will get through this. It may take longer than you would like, but you will. Don't stress over the NYC marathon. If you are there, it will be wonderful.

Kelly said...

I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Glad you have support waiting for you at home - human and puppy. :) I am sure it is hard not to ruminate and worry about treatment effectiveness in the future. Lately, when I can't get out of my head and am in a bad place, I find an instant stream series on Netflix can engross me for awhile. Not as healthy as running though. Continued thought and prayers.

Steffen said...

Hope you have a great time with your parents and can enjoy the weekend - at least a little. Take it step by step.