Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Guess What?

I am so fortunate to have so many people pulling for me, cheering me on, visiting me, and supporting me in many, many ways. I am filled with gratitude tonight for all of you. Thank you. And guess what? I'm feeling better!

My mood has lightened slightly. I have more energy. I'm sarcastic again, which is always a good sign, and sometimes the first sign that I'm feeling better. In the past two days I've been told by my treatment team, nurses, friends, and family that I'm looking and acting more like the etta they all know. Apparently, and of course I have no memory of this, I was almost catatonic all the way up through last week. I had no idea!

Since the last day of September I was apparently a blank, slumped, slow slate. I've been told I made little to no eye contact, had no opinions about anything, moved very, very slowly, expressed my limited thoughts very slowly, and showed no emotion of any kind on my face. Now I'm making eye contact, having and expressing opinions and humor, and moving and speaking at a more normal speed. I feel lighter.

It's weird and frustrating having no concept of what people are telling me about my very recent history. I wish I had a picture or a videotape, because I just can't imagine it. Regardless, I am relieved to be feeling somewhat improved. I'm certainly not out of the woods, but I think I may have at least found the trail. Thank you all again for your continued support. I'll keep you posted.


Anonymous said...

Love to hear you are doing better!! You are a fighter!

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness. I just recently found your blog and am happy that you are able to share your story. I'm glad you are feeling some improvement.


Idea Magnet said...

Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

Just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming.

That's my motto. Get through the tough times and you will make your way out. It always works.

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

SO good to hear this! We are pulling for you and cheering for you!

Anonymous said...

So glad to hear this news! Prayers for continued improvement!

marybeth said...

Etta, just stumbled upon your blog, great to hear you are feeling better. One day at a time.

jim said...

welcome back