Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Carrying on

I apologize for the delay in posting. Things have been very busy in the etta-sphere lately. I had my employee holiday party Saturday night and an outing with a friend on Sunday night (on one of the coldest nights on record!). Add several scattered appointments over the last couple days, some running and weight lifting, and keeping up with friends, and you've got a fairly decent picture of my life lately. I've been busy.

The employee party Saturday was extremely fun! I work with a wonderful group of people. As I mentioned in my previous post, I was a bit concerned about crashing after the party, but I'm happy to report I didn't. I was so tired after all the conversation, game playing, and laughter I went straight to bed when I got home. I didn't really have time for my mood to crash before I fell asleep. I guess that's one way to prevent a crash.

My running is getting a little easier. I've dropped a few of the pounds I gained during this last depression episode, which has certainly helped. Neither my legs nor my lungs are anywhere near ready to handle high mileage yet, but I've felt less muscle fatigue, and I've breathed easier during my recent runs. That's encouraging. I've got 13 miles scheduled for this weekend, so we'll see if that trend continues.

The biggest news is that I began my two week, intensive, outpatient, mood disorder treatment program today. It was a looong day! The program runs 8:00 AM to 4:00 PM with 50 minute groups and 10 minute breaks throughout the day. I'm a napper. I need a lot of sleep. I knew going in that staying alert throughout the day would be tough, and it was! My hope is that it will get easier as my body adapts to the new schedule. If I don't adapt, it's going to be a long two weeks!

Despite the long day, however, I was impressed with the program. I think I will learn some new skills to manage this chronic, life-altering condition so many of us share. I have struggled lately with feelings that the depression was winning our battle, but today gave me some hope that I will stand atop the mountain in the end. And that's what I wish for all of you, too. Hope. Carry on, friends.


Kelly said...

Glad to hear about the lack of emotional come down after the party.

In regards to adjusting to the outpatient treatment and your tendency to be a napper, I can TOTALLY relate! I just finished college in May and I am now a full time professional. Gone are the weekdays where I could nap before class or after seeing my son off to school. With that being said, I adjusted fairly well, I think, even though taking a nap still sounds dreamy. :)

Irene said...

Glad to hear it went well. Maybe there are some life skills and tools that were missed that could help? When it spirals down I wonder, was there something to be done along the way?

Anonymous said...

So very happy to hear that your work party was enjoyable! The outpatient program does sound intense but, also, great. I need a lot of sleep, too. If I don't get it, I just drop. It sounds like you are doing all you can and more. You are such an inspiration. So glad you are seeing results from your efforts. Thinking of you.

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

I'm glad to hear that you're busy and that you didn't crash after the employee party. The outpatient program sounds great! Yes, keep the hope and keep on going. :-)