Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Looking Good!

In my travels throughout the psychology/psychiatry building today, I separately ran into three prior treatment providers; a psychiatrist, a clinical nurse specialist, and a nurse. All three treated me at one time or another when I was an inpatient. Two of them were involved in my most recent hospitalization. It was nice to bump into each of them.

It's always nice, I think, to bump into previous treatment providers when I'm more like my normal, healthy self. Why is that? I think it's nice for me to be able to relate to them on a more even level. I'm no longer the very ill patient. I'm just another person, and I find it satisfying when they see me as I am, not as the vulnerable sick person I am when I'm experiencing severe depression.

The nicest thing about bumping into each of them today was that they each told me I was, "looking good!" They all thought I looked healthy and energetic. That was so nice to hear. These people have seen what I look like when I'm not well. It was somehow validating that they recognized, and verbalized, that I looked good, especially since I did look good today. I looked healthy.

I looked healthy because I have been feeling better. My mood is improving, and I think it shows physically. I've even occasionally been wearing work clothes, rather than just jeans or sweats, to my mood disorder treatment program. That is a sign I'm feeling better. When I'm ill, I don't care how I look or what I wear. It's nice to be getting some of my character back.

I'm halfway through my mood disorder treatment program. It's obviously been helpful, as I just noted. Feeling better is such a relief. I'm not back totally, but I'm getting closer to uncovering the real me once again. It will be a grand day when this depression episode is a long past memory. I'm happy to be moving in that direction.


Sunita said...

So happy to hear you are doing so much better! You are an inspiration.
I am just emerging from a severe episode of depression too. I am trying to find a new therapist--it's not so easy.
Good wishes for your continued recovery!


Tina Fariss Barbour said...

I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better! :-) I think it's helpful when people like your former treatment providers who haven't seen us in a while can comment that we look better.

As for dressing and looking good, I am the same way. When I'm going through a bad time, I don't care what I look like. I take more effort in and enjoyment from dressing better and wearing jewelry when I'm feeling better.