Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, May 25, 2014

Another tough one

I had another disappointing day running today. If the race had only been 15 miles, it would have been a great day. Unfortunately, marathons are 26.2 miles long, and it was those last 11.2 miles that really got me. I felt really good through the half marathon mark. I was running strong, averaging 8 minutes, 35 seconds per mile. Then, out of the blue, the wheels started coming off. And they came off quickly. By 15 miles, I was walking. I could not have been more frustrated.

The rest of the race was tough. I seriously considered dropping out, as I had planned, around 20 miles, but my brother was here cheering for me, which was great, so I kept going. The weather may have had something to do with my quick drop off. The temperatures were in the mid to high 70's, and there was not a cloud in the sky. I stripped out of my shirt, running in only my shorts and a sports bra, but it still got pretty warm out there.

I ended up finishing in 4:04:25. So that's two 4+ hour marathons in a row. I'm now a little worried about Grandmas coming up in June. Marathoning is a lot more fun when I feel relatively good throughout, or even if I feel good until later in the race, but these early descents into fatigue make for really long, not so joyful days. I'd like to get back to having a little more fun, and of course, I'd love to re-qualify for Boston in the process.

The only difference between the last two marathons and Grandmas last year, when I ran a personal best 3:34:58, is weight training. I consistently weight trained last winter and spring. But this year, after my depression relapse, and my return to running in January, I've spent most of my time on the road and little time in the weight room. Over the past few weeks, I've started to remedy that, but I obviously need to do more. I don't think I'll be able to fix the problem in the next month, but hopefully by the Chicago Marathon in October, I'll have stronger, more resilient legs. That's the plan.

It's always nice to run this marathon, as I hear my name cheered from the sidelines and run with familiar faces throughout. In that respect, this year was no exception. And as I stated, it was great to have my younger brother here cheering. He was a great support and an active spectator. I think he saw me 5 or 6 times. That was really nice.

I'm glad I'm coming out of this race with an action plan. I function much better with a plan. And it helps me be more okay with today. It was hot. My legs aren't in their best shape. With a little work, and perhaps, hopefully, with a cooler day, I know I can do better. I'm looking forward to the opportunity.

1 comment:

Tina Fariss Barbour said...

Good job! And I agree that coming out with a plan is so important.