Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Tapering yet Tired

I had my last long run prior to next Saturday's Grandmas Marathon this morning. It was only 8 miles, but you could have fooled me! I had totally dead legs. Every step was work, and I just wanted to quit. I didn't, of course, but I didn't have any fun despite almost ideal running weather. I'm really concerned now. Grandmas is only one week away, and I can't seem to shake this fatigue. I don't want to have another difficult race. I like Grandmas, and I want to enjoy it.

I almost always have some level of fatigue, but this feels different. I feel heavy. My muscles are sore. And my legs just don't seem to be responding to training. Despite tapering for the marathon, running many fewer miles than usual, and running them with less intensity, I'm tired. Running is difficult. And that's not fun.

As I mentioned here previously, I've decided to take a couple of weeks off and get away from training after Grandmas. I'll run less and only for fun. Maybe I won't even wear my watch! That would be an amazing development for me. I'm hoping to run some shorter races later this summer. I'd like to mix it up a bit. My next marathon isn't until the Chicago Marathon in October, so I have some time to play before I have to get back to serious training. At this point I need the mental break as much as the physical one.

I'm taking a break this weekend, too. Besides an easy (I hope) 4-miler tomorrow, I don't have anything planned for the rest of the weekend. I took advantage of the rainy afternoon and napped today. Tonight and tomorrow I will just be puttering around the house, relaxing, and getting a few chores done. With the exception of running, I don't even need to leave the house. And I may not.

Before long, I'll be in Duluth, Minnesota, preparing to run Grandmas. Until then, I'm going to try to take one day at a time and not spend too much time worrying about the race. Whatever happens will be okay. I need to keep reminding myself of that. It's the journey, not the destination. Right?

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