Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, October 2, 2014

One year

I'm in the midst of an anniversary of sorts. It was one year ago this week that I entered the hospital for the first time. At that moment I had no idea I was about to embark on what would end up being the worst depression relapse I'd ever have. I ended up surviving through five hospitalizations between October and mid-December. I went through unsuccessful ECT treatments that left my memory so impaired I could barely remember my friends' names. My mother had to fly up from her winter home in the southern US to take care of me because I was barely able to move, much less take care of myself or Jet. When my mom wasn't here, my friend Wendy opened her home to Jet and I. She and her family provided us safe shelter, companionship, food, and assistance. I was then, and remain today, forever grateful.

Depression sucks. My depression has been unpredictable, debilitating, and life threatening. This past  year was a particularly tough one. I'm grateful today to be battling and surviving. I'm doing well right now, although I still feel like I'm on shaky ground. But I'll take shaky ground over underground any day. Today I'm continuing to move ahead rather than look behind. I'm looking forward to spending time with D and running the Chicago Marathon in a little over a week. I'm taking care of business at home, working, running, keeping my house, and being a mom to Jet. I'm doing life on life's terms, and that's the best I can do, illness or not.

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