Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Gratitude and Concern

Happy Belated Thanksgiving, everyone. I had a very nice holiday. I was invited to share Thanksgiving with my friend, Wendy, and her huge extended family. I think she was expecting something like 30 friends and relatives. She amazes me. She was totally in her element hosting that many people! I would have died! No thank you! But it was very nice. It is tradition that her entire family spends the day together, and I mean all day, at Wendy's house. Everyone brought 1 or 2 food items, so our meal was huge! I think I stopped after my third dessert. Feel free to remind me of that the next time I complain about my weight. It was very kind of Wendy to invite me to share in her family's traditional day. I am grateful for her continued friendship.

After Wendy's house, I went to see my friends, Joan and Frank. They ate later in the day. By the time I got there, it was just the three of us. We ate a bit of leftovers, chatted, and watched some football. It was a nice contrast to Wendy's big event and a calming way to end my holiday. By the time I returned home to Jet, I was exhausted but filled with joy and gratitude. I think that's the way we're "supposed" to feel at Thanksgiving. It was a very nice day.

Unfortunately, I've been battling a little dip in my mood since Thanksgiving Day. Financial strain has reared its ugly head, and that always negatively affects my mood. I'm still trying to catch up with my finances following my hip and oral surgeries. Those missed days of work hurt me. I was trying not to worry, however, as I had a full schedule ahead of me. I figured I'd eventually catch up.

Catching up was the plan anyway. Unfortunately, my laptop died early last week. My laptop is so old, I was told by multiple knowledgeable sources it made more sense to get a new one. Easier said than done. Following closely on the heels of the dead laptop was the announcement by my employer that they weren't going to need me as much as I had been scheduled. In fact, I was supposed to work yesterday, but I got cancelled. That really set the worry in motion. And the lower mood followed quickly behind.

I'm battling. Financial stress always, always creates an emotional challenge for me. The past couple of days I've been saying a lot of prayers. I've already picked up an extra shift next week at one of my other jobs. Thankfully that opportunity opened up. I'm praying for the faith and confidence that things will work out. I've made it through in the past. I have to believe I'll get through this, too. I can't afford not to have faith. Worry is too detrimental to my mood. It's toxic. I'm battling to keep the worry at bay. Prayers, of course, are always accepted.


Tina Fariss Barbour said...

Financial worries are a big stress for me, too. I'm glad that the extra shift opened up at your other job. I hope other opportunities like that will come up. Maybe with the coming holidays, people will want to take time off and you can get more time than expected to fill in for them. Keep the faith! And I will be praying for you.

Craig said...

Hi Laree, I found your video online and posted on the Orchard Place Facebook page. Such a powerful story! And a great Blog. Orchard Place helps 10,000 kids in Iowa each year with mental health issues. Keep up the great work!

Bonnie said...

I know this may sound strange, but I have a Windows XP Toshiba mini-laptop that I was looking for someone to give it to. I have to "clean it off" of my files but if you'd like to have it I can ship it to you.

etta said...

@ Bonnie: You made me smile. You are a very kind person to make such an offer. My parents chipped in and I was able to get a "Black Friday" cheap computer. Thank you so much for your incredibly generous offer.

Mark said...

Financial stress is quite a common issue these days for so many people. I hope you can stay focused on the things that cheer you up. :)

City Panicked said...

I completely get the financial stress thing. I have been out of work on medical leave since August and disability just barely covers the bills that I absolutely *must* pay. It definitely makes my mental health issues worse, so I get it.