Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Monday, December 15, 2014


It's way past my bedtime, but sleep is not coming tonight. Today was the anniversary of Puck's death. Puck was my 12-year-old lab who died two years ago.  He went from healthy to gravely ill in moments. I had about 12 hours to say goodbye. It was, as I expected it would be, one of the most difficult decisions I ever had to make. And while I love Jet with all my heart, there will never be another Puck. I still miss him.

Puck was my soul mate. He had been through it all with me. Only one year old when I became ill, we traveled the depression journey and later the alcoholism journey together. I've been thinking about him a lot over the past several days, which led me to thinking about my journey with this illness as well. These thoughts, combined with the release of the videos, have me in quite the reflective mood. 

Speaking of the videos, it seems many of you have had a chance to view them. has been having some technical problems with them, but they're working on that. They seem to work best when viewed on a computer versus a tablet or phone. I want to thank all of you who have left your comments here. While this was a huge opportunity for me, it was also a pretty big risk. How many of you noticed I used my actual name? I also didn't have any say as far as what went into the videos or not. I had to have faith my message would be presented in a favorable way. And it was.

I was quite happy with the videos. Of course, there is always more that could have been said, but I try not to worry about that. I am satisfied by your reaction (comments) that we did put some education and hope out there for all to see. If one life is brighter, or less lonely; if one person sees themselves as having an illness rather than a character defect; or if another who otherwise wouldn't have now seeks help, the opportunity and the risk was more than worth it. I thank from the bottom of my heart.

And now I think it's time for bed. Carry on, friends.


Paul said...

Sleep well, knowing you've done many of us a real, caring service.

Irene said...

An illness, rather than a character defect, blameless because wired that way. Peace.

Anonymous said...

I'll second what Paul said about providing many of us a caring service.

- Virginia