Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, February 8, 2015


The past month and a half has been a bit of a slog for me. If you've been following along, you know that. But things may be changing. Once again, the light seems to be returning. I'm not dancing a jig just yet, but I'm hopeful this brighter trend continues. The simple act of feeling hopeful is in and of itself an improvement. Hooray for improvement!

I'm leery of getting my hopes up, of course. The rollercoaster of symptoms has taken its toll. But I'm enjoying feeling better today. One day at a time... I'll take it one day at a time, keep taking the next right action, and use the supports I have in place to (hopefully) finally disembark this ride.

I had a good day yesterday. It was cake night. Cake night is a night of celebration where family and friends are invited to celebrate sobriety anniversaries with those of us in recovery. It happens once per month. Last night we gave out 14 cakes and celebrated 167 years of sobriety. I was responsible for 9 of those 167 years.

Prior to the meeting, I had a wonderful steak dinner with friends, some of whom were also celebrating, and then we all attended cake night together. It was wonderful to be surrounded by a room full of family, friends, and miracles. I never tire of hearing the stories of lives changed by sobriety. I am so grateful for the life I have today, depression and all; a life that would not be possible if I were still drinking.

Today is dawning bright, warm and clear. I'm looking forward to going for a run/walk with Jet. I'm having coffee and catching up with an old friend this afternoon. And I'm hoping to begin putting my house back in some sort of order. Depression has taken a toll on my surroundings, too. I know I'll continue to feel better if I can clean up a bit. Hoping you all have a bright, clear day, too. Carry on, my friends.


Anonymous said...

Yay Etta!😊happy to read this!

Unknown said...

You rock! 💪

Anonymous said...

Great news! I hope it continues and you bask in the sun.

It seems as though the Wellbutrin is having some positive effect (that or holding my new grandson most of last week). I haven't felt really dark, and I've even experienced what they call happiness a little.

Of course I'm also resentful about this. I hate, hate, hate that my personality, my SELF, is mostly just a chemical equation.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I just ran across your blog and I really appreciate it as it provides light for others like myself said...

I admire your honesty and bravery. I, too, am learning the "day by day" (or minute by minute sometimes) way of living. I've had OCD all my life, undiagnosed till age 25. I've battled suicidal depression for the past 5 years, and usually, it's only my wife and 2 kids that keep me carrying on. I'm grateful that you're blogging about this, as I have started to do. Thanks for being an inspiration!

Unknown said...

grateful for your relief.

Jordan said...

Congrats! Keep up the good work. Cake day sounds like a great idea. Having something to look forward to in the near future is always crucial for me.