Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Another injury

It's been a little while since my last post. Chalk it up to more pleasantly boring living. Well that's not entirely true. While I've been feeling emotionally well, my physical body began a bit of a revolt this week. After five runs last week, four of them very encouraging, I was having another really good six mile run on Tuesday. At mile four, my right soleus muscle (the lower part of the calf) tied up in a knot. Of course I failed to heed the warning, choosing instead to continue running, and made what may have been a slight injury into a major one. I completed my six miles, but I could barely walk the next day. I haven't been able to run since. So much for pleasantly boring.

Being injured is tough on my psyche. I spent a couple of days wallowing in chocolate and cookies. That turns out to be a pretty ineffective strategy for dealing with anything when trying to lose weight. And if I don't lose the extra pounds I gained after my hip surgery my running will suffer. I believe it's called self sabotage. I sabotaged my weight loss with chocolate and cookies which ends up sabotaging my running. And it all started because I felt like a slug when I wasn't able to run. Does that make any sense? It doesn't to me, but it's not the first time I've self sabotaged. I don't quite understand what's behind it, but I'm glad I'm aware of it. It means I can work to change the pattern.

I'm back on the horse today. I'm changing the pattern. I went grocery shopping last night and filled my house with good, healthy food. And rather than fretting about not being able to run, I got my bike out of the closet this morning. I rode hard for almost 22 miles. An hour and seventeen minutes of oxygen sucking, heart pounding hard work was just what I needed. I feel much better now. Perhaps pleasantly boring is on its way back into my life. I'll take it.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Keep going. Running does help. Always listen to your body.
John

Anonymous said...

Well done you. I have been marathon training; am supposed to be doing marathon in 5 weeks but my depression seems to have taken turn for worse. Don't know what to do. So much pressure. Just feel like I want to run just for pleasure agai n but will let everyone down x



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