Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Another injury

It's been a little while since my last post. Chalk it up to more pleasantly boring living. Well that's not entirely true. While I've been feeling emotionally well, my physical body began a bit of a revolt this week. After five runs last week, four of them very encouraging, I was having another really good six mile run on Tuesday. At mile four, my right soleus muscle (the lower part of the calf) tied up in a knot. Of course I failed to heed the warning, choosing instead to continue running, and made what may have been a slight injury into a major one. I completed my six miles, but I could barely walk the next day. I haven't been able to run since. So much for pleasantly boring.

Being injured is tough on my psyche. I spent a couple of days wallowing in chocolate and cookies. That turns out to be a pretty ineffective strategy for dealing with anything when trying to lose weight. And if I don't lose the extra pounds I gained after my hip surgery my running will suffer. I believe it's called self sabotage. I sabotaged my weight loss with chocolate and cookies which ends up sabotaging my running. And it all started because I felt like a slug when I wasn't able to run. Does that make any sense? It doesn't to me, but it's not the first time I've self sabotaged. I don't quite understand what's behind it, but I'm glad I'm aware of it. It means I can work to change the pattern.

I'm back on the horse today. I'm changing the pattern. I went grocery shopping last night and filled my house with good, healthy food. And rather than fretting about not being able to run, I got my bike out of the closet this morning. I rode hard for almost 22 miles. An hour and seventeen minutes of oxygen sucking, heart pounding hard work was just what I needed. I feel much better now. Perhaps pleasantly boring is on its way back into my life. I'll take it.


Anonymous said...

Keep going. Running does help. Always listen to your body.

Anonymous said...

Well done you. I have been marathon training; am supposed to be doing marathon in 5 weeks but my depression seems to have taken turn for worse. Don't know what to do. So much pressure. Just feel like I want to run just for pleasure agai n but will let everyone down x