Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 17 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Friday, March 20, 2015


I got some great news this week. My boyfriend, D, and I are going to New York to run the New York City Marathon on November 1st. We're thrilled to be going. I'm especially excited. Some of you who've been around awhile may remember I was in New York to run in 2012. That was the year the marathon was cancelled as a result of Hurricane Sandy. In 2013, another entry fee ($266.00) and plane ticket were lost when I couldn't run because of my illness. I believe I was in the hospital on the day of the marathon. So this hopefully will be the year I finally get to compete in New York. To share the experience with D is just icing on the cake.

That was the good news. Now the bad news. I am still sidelined with my right calf injury. I have not been able to run for 10 days. I'm going a little crazy. I want to run so badly. I am particularly frustrated because this injury occurred just as I was getting back into running shape after my three month layoff. The day I injured it I was able to run 6 miles at a good pace without walk breaks. That was the culmination of several weeks of hard work. Now I feel the conditioning leaving my body as I try valiantly to maintain by walking, biking, circuit training, and even swimming! But nothing trains the body to run like running, so I'm frustrated to be sidelined again. My running shoes are calling!

As a result of not being able to run I'm monitoring my mood closely. I felt it slipping just a bit earlier this week, but a couple of hard workouts on my bike seemed to help. I'm also monitoring my mood because my doctor agreed, at my request, to lower one of my medications this week. It's a med that augments my primary antidepressant. But this particular medication seems to be interfering with my attempt at weight loss, and since I've been feeling well we negotiated a lower dose.

I wanted to discontinue the medication completely, but my psychiatrist wants me to be further removed from my recent relapse before we think about that. She is concerned about my mood faltering. I promised I would tell her immediately if I felt that happening. I appreciate that she trusts me and allowed me to lower the dose despite her concerns. I certainly don't want to slide backwards, so I'm paying close attention to my mood. And I will increase the med again if the need arises. I'm feeling pretty confident, which might be silly with this unpredictable illness, but I'm feeling hopeful nonetheless.

And that's the news. Despite my injury, life is good. I've got nothing to complain about really. The injury will heal, and I'll be back on the road soon. I'm a lucky woman. Forward, with gratitude, is the only way to go. Carry on, friends.


Anonymous said...

No doubt that running helps attitude and depression. The best to do is recover slowly and not push it too fast, or injury will strike again. I am on my last bottle of meds. I'll keep some Xanax for emergency only. Good luck on your marathon....John.

The Damn Dame said...

Running has helped me a lot. Although I'm only at the 5k stage. Finding a good psychiatrist is key.