Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015


It hurts.



HBF said...

Half a breath at a time. Just keep breathing. One at a time. You can.

Anonymous said...

Everything changes,. Sorry it's so hard. You'll look back on this.

You've dealt with some difficult things lately with such strength. If you tried too hard I hope you can be kind to yourself. The nothing could be necessary space.

Here's to you. And wishing you whatever you need, minute by minute. And here's appreciation for what you've already given with such spirit.

Anonymous said...

So very sorry you are in such pain. I know it seems impossible to reach out when you have no energy and all the physical and mental symptoms of this awful depression. But, please, reach out to your support...friend, doctor, etc., if you haven't. Just like any serious illness, when we feel the worst, we need to get help the most. Sending thoughts and prayers.

Sunnyscattered said...

I get it. Not helpful I know, but I so get it. One breath at a time. You can do this.

Unknown said...

Ms E....I can feel your pain in your words. Easy does it, one easy breath at a time....peace on you.....j

Tricia said...

I'm sorry you're doing poorly. I just want to encourage you to hold on tight during this tough time. And also to take it easy on yourself, cut yourself some slack (just as you would do for any sick person). Don't beat yourself up because you can't perform as well as you'd like to, and don't buy into the guilt that your illness is your fault. Just ride it out and take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. I am a 53 yr old woman and due to a layoff, I have been out of work 1-1/2 yrs. I have always struggled with depression and I am also 9 years sober. I went from 70k last year to welfare. I have 4 resuce dogs that keep me going but to be honest - I just can't breathe. My depression seems to get worse with each passing day. Interview after interview along with the rejection email after rejection. I am positive it's my age. I need to take a job where my income can support my mortgage. Luckily I was able to reopen my unemployment for a few months Bottom line - I find it extremely hard to find my purpose in life and have come to the conclusion that I really don't have one. I was such an outgoing person and now I live in almost total isolation. I think more and more of a way to exit and just get out of it all. I have been unhappy for so very long that I don't even believe it exists. I wish I had the energy and wanted to live but I don't. The only reason I stay is because my dogs need me. Well I need them to. Thanks for listening. It's late and I can't sleep and needed to vent. I was so happy to read your blog from someone who gets it. You've been there and are fighting it every step of the way. Thank you and God Bless!

Major Depression said...

Just relax miss, take a comfortable sit or sleep
Enjoy your time, you can do it :)

Anonymous said...

Etta, we, your friends who comment on your blog are here for you, with you, helping you to breathe through your pain.... We breathe with you

Anonymous said...

I can relate..hard to breathe when you are depressed..