Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 18 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, October 4, 2015


I apologize for the delay in posting here, but I've been away. In the middle of last week, many of my treatment team members were unanimously in favor of re-hospitalization in order to keep me safe while we continue adjusting my medications. Fortunately, I was planning a trip to Duluth to see my parents and friends for the weekend, and when I met with my therapist on Thursday, she agreed the trip north would likely be very beneficial. In fact she thought it would be a much needed "band-aid" for my mood, and so I went.

I just returned home from 4 days in Duluth, Minnesota, which sits on the tip of the biggest of all the Great Lakes, Lake Superior. A few minutes around Lake Superior and serenity washes over me. It's one of my favorite places on the planet. I grew up around Duluth and Lake Superior, so I have a lot of good memories of the area. It's familiar. It's beautiful. And I have good friends and family who still live there. I really should visit more often.

As it turned out, my therapist was right on. This trip was a band-aid for me. I spent my days with good friends, family, and/or Jet. I was rarely alone. It was sunny and gorgeous everyday. The sun was healing. I could feel it warm me, and center me, from the inside out. I spent as much time as possible outside and within site of the lake, including a 4 mile hike with Jet which included a lot of Lake Superior beach. The weekend was definitely a healing reprieve from the suffering of the past several weeks.

I'm now back home and a little anxious. I'm going to work hard to keep the band-aid effect going. I'm hoping the traction gained over the weekend will jump start my motivation and energy, decrease my fatigue, and keep my mood elevated. I'm grateful for my healing reprieve, and I'm praying it continues.


HBF said...

Wonderful :) I've met a few people from MN and it is such a part of their makeup, they always speak of their homeland fondly-I'm glad it grants you such tranquility!

Tricia said...

Etta, I'm glad you had at least a few days reprieve. I hope it lasts. And I love the picture of Jet! I bet he enjoyed the trip too.

Anonymous said...

I"m so glad you took that trip. In my long experience with MDD, I have found that drugs aren't really effective, I've come to believe that having people around you, loving people is a good remedy in general. Also just being on the road. the isolation I feel; always alone, even with my partner I feel abandonded and alone... Seems to be situational to me. fight or flight and I just want to ren away. But I can't, not enough money, lack of friends to go with. Sorry to run on, I am trying to connect with some non medical online resourses. I am crying again (always crying it seems) and Im getting scared again. Something new,,, " Keya House" in my town is a safe house of sorts, need to scedule some time there. Good Luck to all of you all'