Depression Marathon Blog

My photo
Diagnosed with depression 18 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Coping...or not

I haven't had much motivation to update this blog or do much of anything else lately. I don't think I'm coping too well with the new drama with my teeth. My mood has definitely taken a hit. I've been struggling to move some days. I missed work on Friday because I had a migraine headache and just couldn't get out of bed. And since beginning the antibiotics for my tooth infection, I've been consistently and constantly nauseous.

Physical and mental discomfort has been the norm since Tuesday, which is when the tooth infection was diagnosed. Life hasn't been much fun. I'm not happy with how I've been coping. I'm discouraged. I'm not feeling hopeful. And I'm fearing the worst. It's no wonder I have little motivation or energy.

Fear, I think, is really weighing me down. I've been struggling to stay in the moment. I'm projecting my fears way out into the future. I don't usually do that. But now I find myself fearing the worst possible outcomes, especially where my teeth are concerned. It's mentally exhausting.

I'm not doing myself any favors by focusing my energy on my fears. But I can't seem to stop. I've had so much bad luck with my teeth over the past couple of years, it's hard not to feel cursed. Of course, I know I'm not cursed, but I am feeling incredibly unfortunate. That's the problem.

I need to stop feeling unfortunate, i.e. sorry for myself. It's certainly not beneficial. If I can't cope with today, tomorrow is not going to get any better. I've already proven that this week. Migraines, low motivation, low energy, irritability...not fun. Somehow I've got to get a grip, focus on today and move forward.


Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for you. Nausea is miserable, I hope you can comfort yourself a bit. You'll look back on this crappy time soon. Take care, irene

Ela said...

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I hope you feel better.

Awa said...

Misery loves company? I am currently in this boat with you. There isn't really much to say other then that it sucks. And I hope change is coming. For both of us.