Depression Marathon Blog

My photo
Diagnosed with depression 18 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Less stress, please

I finished up my mentally challenging, and therefore physically exhausting, week with a nice, sunny ride this morning on my ElliptiGo. I was supposed to run 10 miles today, but I've been having some lingering soreness in my right Achilles tendon, so I fought my urge to run and went for a ride instead.

I needed a challenging effort, one without worry about my Achilles, to clear my head. I got one. I rode an out and back 20.6 mile course on a smooth, wide, country road with beautiful views of local farms and greenery. It was also a hilly road, so I got a really good workout. It took me just over 90 minutes, which is about the same time it would have taken to run 10 miles, so I'm satisfied.

I'm hoping for a less challenging week this week. I'm working my usual schedule, nothing extra. I have one more dental consultation Tuesday morning, and I'm praying that soothes some of my anxiety and worry. I'm also going to dial back the intensity of my marathon training in order to decrease the stress on my Achilles. I have to remember the goal is simply to get to the starting line in New York and to let go of my high performance expectations. If I re-injure myself, there will be no performance at all. Keep it simple, etta. Keep it simple.

Still feeling frazzled, stressed and worried, I'm hoping to get back into some sort of comforting rhythm and routine this week, I've been feeling so close to breaking, worrying about the potential doom lurking around the next corner, that day-to-day functioning has been challenging. I'd like to shed that feeling this week. That will be my goal. I'll let you know how it goes.


Anonymous said...

Not only let us know how it goes; let us know how it is done. I could use a means for getting out of the pit right now. I had two unprecedented months of respite from my depression, but I knew all that time it would come back, and it has.

I take a lot of strength from your struggles, or rather, from your victories (and your rational approach).

Wendy Love said...

Your perseverance continues to inspire me. You should be on a poster saying 'Don't Give Up' with your running, biking, continuing to find work.
My depression management includes less, not more. I have to recede, remove myself from people and life in order to maintain some stability.
This is fine once I resign myself to it once again. I am presently on a retreat from the world since this is usually my worse time of year and I am trying to be proactive. So far, so good. Now that I have accepted that I feel pretty good.
Keep on keeping on.

etta said...

@paullamb and Wendy: Both of you inspire and strengthen me to keep going even when the going is rough and not so fun. I hope you both find a way out of this current state of darkness very soon. We all know this will pass, right? Of course we also all know hanging onto that belief is sometimes very difficult. But hang on we must. Here's to brighter days ahead.

Julie Gathman said...

Wow, 20+ miles on your ElliptiGo! With beautiful scenery! I'm impressed.