Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 18 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Bad and The Good

I spent 3 hours in the chairs of 2 different dental specialists yesterday afternoon. It was the horrible culmination to what otherwise was a lovely weekend away. Today I find myself overwhelmed and afraid. The drama with my teeth has taken another turn for the worse, but I can't say anymore about it without breaking down into tears, so that's all I have to tell you for now. I have another dental appointment tomorrow. I'm trying to hold it together, keep my fears in check, and put one foot in front of the other until then.

As far as my weekend, otherwise, it was really nice. I spent Saturday morning running 7 miles around some remote lakes near my parent's place. It was beautiful, and I felt great. The rest of Saturday morning was spent helping my mother organize her delayed wedding reception, which took place Saturday afternoon.

After at least 15 years together, my mom and stepfather were finally married in a small ceremony in Florida this past Spring. Since their local families and friends couldn't attend the wedding, they had a small reception in Duluth Saturday afternoon. It went really well, and I think my mom thoroughly enjoyed it.

The reception was the only time in the past 12 months that all of my brothers and I were in the same place at the same time. It was really nice spending time with my brothers, their spouses, and almost all of my nieces and nephews. Like many families, I suppose, we have some interesting, sometimes touchy family dynamics, but everyone was on their best, most loving behavior, and it was quite nice.

Actually, the reception was fun. It was so fun, we continued the party after the party. We all spent the evening together at my brother's house eating pizza and watching the Olympics. We haven't had that much fun family time together in a long, long time.

On Sunday, I spent another beautiful Duluth morning running 14 miles on a bike path through the woods. It was great to be outside, in the woods, feeling good, running again. My mom and I then watched the Olympic marathon together while I recovered after my run. I enjoyed that. The afternoon included more family time, as we attended the Duluth Tall Ships festival on the Lake Superior waterfront. I even splurged for some fabulous, greasy, sugary, mini donuts! Why not? I ran 14 miles.

On Monday, I got some cherished one-on-one time with my youngest brother. I rarely get one-on-one time with him, as he has two very active young boys. We played golf together, on another gorgeous day, for 3 hours. My brother is an incredible athlete, so it was fun to watch him hit the ball. I'm a beginner, so he gave me some good tips. We talked and laughed and simply enjoyed each other's company. Like I said, it was a cherished opportunity.

Finally, I spent Monday evening having dinner with my good friend, Mary. It's always great to spend time with her. We go way back and have a special bond. She's one of those friends I can go without seeing for long stretches of time, and yet we pick up right where we left off when we do get together. I have very few of those people in my life. I value her friendship.

Good times had with family and friends in a place I love, that's what I'm trying to keep in mind today. The stress of the continued drama with my teeth is going to play out however it's going to play out. I can't, unfortunately, control that. It sucks. It's unfortunate. It's not fair. But it is what it is. I'm very grateful to have had such a pleasant weekend away with my family. Those are the moments I need to remember and focus on today.


paullamb said...

I'm really glad to hear that your running has been successful. I hope you've turned the corner in that part of your life.

Katheryne Patterson said...

Wow! Congratulations on your running! 14 miles! Amazing! Keep it up!

Julie Gathman said...

Really glad to hear that the family time was so nice.