Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Monday, May 22, 2017


Well...file this one under, "You're not going to believe this." Or, "You've got to be kidding me!" I am in the hospital. No, not that hospital. I am on a medical floor of my local hospital. The pulled muscle I wrote about in my last post developed into something much bigger and not better a couple of nights ago.

Just after midnight Sunday morning, I awoke from sleeping due to a small coughing fit. Since the coughing hurt my back, in the area of the pulled muscle, I tried to brace myself. Unfortunately, when I coughed just a few seconds later I felt immediate and tremendous pain in my left low back. The pain was so intense I collapsed on my bed and cried out in agony. I laid there barely breathing for several minutes as my back seared with pain.

Since I live alone, I got scared. I was in so much pain I wasn't sure I would be able to get out of bed and retrieve my phone in the next room. Eventually, with Herculean effort, I did get out of bed. I grabbed my phone, an ice pack and 2 Aleve, but I barely made it back to my bed. I was nauseous and sweating and lightheaded. That's when I got really scared. I almost passed out. No matter what I did or how I positioned myself, the pain was unrelenting.

I hated to do it, but I began dialing friends. The first three did not answer. Finally my friend, Joan, wearily said hello. Long story short, she brought me to the emergency room where I stood, sat and laid down in agony for hours while they tried one pain med after another. Multiple doses of Valium, Toradol, Tylenol, and Oxycodone were useless. I couldn't move without getting nauseous and lightheaded. When 2 doses of Fentanyl, the med of last resort, didn't help, they had to admit me to the hospital.

So I've been here for almost 48 hours, and things have not improved much. I'm being medicated around the clock, and that has at least allowed me to uncomfortably lie in bed. I've slept a few hours here and there, but changing positions is excruciating, and walking is nearly impossible. I took my first steps with a walker about an hour ago. I made it 10 feet. That was discouraging to say the least.

I'm currently awaiting an MRI, but that likely won't be done until tomorrow afternoon. Apparently it's a very popular machine. The docs are thinking I may have injured my L5 disc. I actually kind of hope they're right, because at least we'd then have a plan, an epidural injection of corticosteroid to stifle the inflammation. Until then I'll be stuck here in my hospital bed getting more and more restless.

I'm so discouraged. Obviously this means running a marathon in 6 days and jumping out of an airplane with my niece and nephew 7 days from now are out of the question. After all that training and planning... And I was so looking forward to getting back to my regular work schedule now that I'm finished with TMS treatments, but no, instead I'm sitting here earning nothing again. Who gets severely injured coughing in bed?? Unbelievable. I'm so disappointed. Prayers appreciated.


Eva said...

That is unbelievable. So much bad luck! I hope it is something that they can treat fast. Or at least alleviate your pain.

I don't pray but will be sending healing thoughts to you!


Wendy Love said...

Prayers going up right now.

Nathalie said...

I am not religious, so I will send positive thoughts your way........

Anonymous said...

Well, once again I sit here in Kansas, unable to do a damned thing to help you. But I hope you believe that if I could take this torment off of you, I would!

Julie Gathman said...

You are right, I can't believe it! After your achilles heal injury and the dental thing, I thought you'd had more than your share. Now more? This really sucks! Sorry you are in so much pain. That was really scary when it happened from...coughing?