Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Shortening the Road

My long road back from an extruded L4 disc, 6 months ago, and back surgery, 5 months ago, got just a bit shorter today. I can hardly believe it myself, but I ran today! On an absolutely gorgeous, crisp, sunny morning, I ran. Fully weight bearing on my own two feet, for just over 25 minutes, I ran 2.5 miles. It was slow and steady and unbelievable. My left leg has gotten stronger. My hard work has paid off. I'm not back, but I'm on the road. A finish line finally appears to be within sight.

After returning from my run, I texted and e-mailed everyone I knew. Then I sat at my kitchen table, and I cried. I can't begin to express how relieved and grateful I felt. Maybe it was fitting this occurred on Thanksgiving Day, as I've rarely experienced such gratitude. My cautious optimism has developed into a true sense of hope. I now feel my return to running is less a matter of if and more a matter of when. The missing chunk of my identity will eventually be replaced. I feel so fortunate. I'm very happy!

The taste of freedom, of running through crisp morning air with Jet at my side, leaves me more motivated than ever to continue working hard and pushing my limits. I'm satisfied the work I've already done appears to have paid off. I was questioning whether that was true as recently as last week. The road has been long, difficult, and frustrating, but perhaps payment of the dividends has begun. I'm so, so grateful. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!


Anonymous said...

Wonderful, wonderful news! I really respect your dedication and your perseverance. I'm glad it is paying off for you.

(Also, a 10-minute mile pace could be blistering for me. Just sayin'.)

etta said...

@paullamb: I always look forward to your witty comments. They never fail to make me smile! Thanks!