Depression Marathon Blog

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Diagnosed with depression 19 years ago, I lost the life I once knew, but in the process re-created a better me. I am alive and functional today because of my dog, my treatment team, my sobriety, and my willingness to re-create myself within the confines of this illness. I hate the illness, but I'm grateful for the person I've become and the opportunities I've seized because of it. I hope writing a depression blog will reduce stigma and improve the understanding and treatment of people with mental illness. All original content copyright to me: etta. Enjoy your visit!

Sunday, November 18, 2018

Settling in

Life goes on. I've returned to work. I've returned to exercising--walking, running, lifting weights, and cycling classes. I'm taking care of some professional obligations in order to keep my physical therapy license in good standing. And I'm doing a few chores. Basically, I'm settling back in to my routine.

I'm busy, which is good, but I'm guarding against getting overwhelmed. I guess that's the best way to describe it. I'm guarded. In the back of my mind, I've had an inkling of worry that maybe my mood would crash after such a monumental experience like the one I had in Nepal. So far, I've intermittently felt a bit off at times, low at other times, and perfectly okay at others. Nothing alarming has occurred, so I should probably just quit worrying and instead let each day arrive as it will.

I'm doing a pretty good job keeping up with things. My house is messy, but I'm feeling fine with that. I had to be so organized during my trek, unpacking and packing on a daily basis, I'm actually kind of enjoying having a bit of stuff strewn about haphazardly. It's comforting somehow.

I am feeling fatigued. Part of that, I think, is being back on a regular schedule, but I've also not yet returned to deep sleep since I've been home. In fact, my fancy new Garmin watch tells me I'm averaging less than an hour of deep sleep most nights. That doesn't seem like enough. I'm hoping it slowly improves. Again, so far, I'm managing despite less sleep than I would like.

It's been fun reviewing my trip with various friends and coworkers. I really enjoy looking at all the pictures and trying to remember exactly where I was and what I did on each day. I have a map of my route, my itinerary, my Facebook posts, and my photos out on my kitchen table at this moment. I'm working to label all the photos and assemble a timeline of my trip before I forget. I've already had requests for group presentations from a few people. That would certainly be fun. So if I can figure out how to put together some sort of multimedia presentation, I plan to take them up on their offers.

I'm sure you're tired of hearing about my trip by now, but it remains foremost in my mind. I don't want to forget it. I want to keep it fresh, to relive it, to feel the fear, challenge, awe, and adventure all over again. Eventually I'm sure I'll have more to think and talk about, but you'll have to forgive me if I'm a bit slow in letting it all slip behind me. Maybe you have some memories of great moments in your life, too? Feel free, take a minute, let those memories wash over you, experience them all over again. Join me. I hate to have so much fun alone.


Paul Lamb said...

I'm a guy who hangs out in bookstores and art museums. I will NEVER tire of hearing about your adventures!

Katy said...

I am so excited to hear about your adventure! Keep the stories coming. I am so proud of you. Thank you for sharing this journey.